According to scholars, the Shari`ah does not require the husband to get the consent of the first wife for a second marriage. Here is the complete explanation of hadith below. And since Hajj is the jihad of a woman, accepting polygamy for the first wife is more than jihad. One should learn how to respect his wife. I follow all the rules mentioned above. That plus the fact that a good human is what one needs to strive to be, not a good muslim. Marriage, Polygamy, Marital relationships. It seems shes expecting some fatwa & if she is then tough luck, knocking the wrong door. My husband is Muslim and as such he is allowed to marry a maximum of 4 women (If he fulfills the stringent obligations that come with marrying multiple wives) so before we married this was discussed. There are no specific hadiths about many things. This is just how it is, in all schools of thought in Islam. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. I feel. It is still adultry. My above statement was based on what I have understood from the article. Allah knows best, Are you kidding ME????? Please get some counseling for your situation. So do not do this. A womans being patient in obeying her husband is one of the The purpose behind marriage was to provide shelter and financial support to widows and victims. We are true Sunnah Muslims Hamdullah. Encourage him to make Salaah at the Masjid. Mentally. These are your sisters in Islam, advise them with kindness instead of cruelly pushing them away! If the real purpose was of sexual desires then they would go for it in their prime youth. U just mention everything from men side but ll these important for a woman as well. Nicely worded brother. Nice comments you wrote there though, and I enjoy reading em. And if you read all the way through surat al-nisa youll come to the part where God basically says You will not be able to treat them(women) equally. I wouldnt allow my future husband to marry a 18 never married single gal, but if hes going to marry a widow, a divorced or older lady who couldnt get married, then maybe, maybe we can talk about him getting a second wife. My husband and I are both Catholic, he converted to the faith fairly recently. But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy. Some things may be hard to swallow for us women, but Allah swt Created us this way, so rather empower yourself with this knowledge and understanding, than bemoan and question the way of things. I know someone who says he loves his wife and yet wants to get married again! With regard to your request for a duaa, I ask Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, by His grace and favour, to make goodness easy for you and to ward off all evil from you, and to continue to bless you and your family with stability and love, and to keep you and your husband and children safe, and to ward off from you the whispers of the shaytaan and his making falsehood attractive. Thank you thank you DR ABULU for the good work you just did in my life , my name is ALVINA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,t listen to me anymore i thought i will never get him back again and i loved him so much and i promise not to rest until am able to get him back to my life so i began to look for a solution and help to get him back this was because i do not want to give birth to a fatherless child so one afternoon as i was browsing on my computer i came across a testimony shared by miss Rachael from UK how she got his ex husband back with the help of Dr abulu of (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) so i decided to give him a try and to my best surprise the spell this man cast on my husband work just within two days i contacted him . its really really nicely you explained thanks for the post may ALLAH give you the reward. There is no hadith which states that the husband must ask his wives premssion. Your email address will not be published. 2.If this person really loves Very few. Is it true? Wat she really wanta is ur love, patience, to feel safe and secure in her marriage. Quran permits limited polygyny As I mentioned earlier, Quran is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says marry only one. Many a sister lives her life with a man she never loved but he never knew it. The article asks women to respect their husbands but the final point says if he doesnt say I love you its alright, he still loves you. No woman wil b happy readin it n am openly sayin out my opinion coz there aint no hadith or ayat backin d point dat ur husband thinks abt other women. A wise woman should accept whatever Allaah decrees for her, One fills in what the other lacks. Never! 14. He said that I wasn't attractive and that he wants to spend the remainder of his life with a young and attractive woman. I love my husband sooooo very much, and he is wonderful! Sex hormones are released in the adult body every day. Of course not.But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and hell be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (respect, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere. But he sends all love messages to his 2 nd wife. So its incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation. Sister Sabeeqa, this life is a test for us to be rewarded in the life hereafter. To the person who wrote this artical.. Ds my true life I am leaving with Allahs mercy. 2. Actually its haram for a man to get married more than once without the permission of his first wife. Below is an explanation of one of the verses of the Quran. I would understand this rule if it was practiced under emergency circumstances such as after a war when there are a lot of widows who can't support their families, or in a society when women outnumber the men. We dont tell our wives I love you often enough. but after that we start arguing on small things.and he tries to hit me many time but I stopped him.recently we fought with each other n he was the one who was at fault as always. AstafirAllah. I too am deciding divorce. After all, as Muslims, we SUBMIT our will to ALLAAHs. and one who does an atom weight of good will see it. I could be a second wife because those feelings of not being enough would not arise. But for the couple who are in agreement with one another and understand one another and know that perhaps you have had a long day, your stressed about work, your worried about your childrens exams etcc..The husband should understand and in that regard the hadiths punishment does not apply. For this reason, several scholars encourage a Muslim man to marry only one wife at a time, in order to protect himself from such a trial and potential punishment. Id rather get a divorce form my husband than allow him to be married to another person. Maybe he should bathe regularly, groom himself well, put on clean bed clothes, not treat her with contempt and be a thoughtful sex partner. When you said you will send him back home Thank you SO much. If a woman refuses to have sex with husband and he understands why she is refusing to then she is not sinning. fallen into a trap of the shaytaan, because he has made you attractive to She cries every time they have intercourse and are intimate. ISLAM QURIAN is d manual 2 better and peaceful live . 660. I prayed that she will accept me. Also kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected. I have a problem maybe you can help.hubby n I have been married since 4years.we were really happy. If a man is ignorant, unaware or does not care about his wifes emotional and physical needs, then he has set the clock for her to NOT want to be with him. something permissible, so she should not object to it. In Islam, the second marriage has some rules to watch out for. Remember Allah only help those who help themselves. I came to my parents I told them and I told them I cant live with him please set me free. We need to understand the depth of the issue. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives. Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. This entails having respect and loyalty for one another, along with the feelings of passion and love to one another. Allah created men and women to be each others companions not competitors. @Paula- So sorry that you have to deal with all this:(. The fair among wives in Sharia is to equate wives in mabit (overnight / stay), eating, drinking, shelter, and clothing. (Raddul Mukhtar, Ibn Abidin, 3/378), Being fair is not easy. the guy has duty to keeping his wife well comforted before he even thinks selfishly about his own satisfaction. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sisters. This is happening now to me, in the beggining of my marriage, im married for 3 months and we feel we dont understand. Actually, this can be part of the marriage contract. Your jealousy is understandable and allowed in Islaam (even Aisha was jealous of the Prophets other wives, and even tried to stop one of his marriages from happening) but that never drove her to say she was disgusted or disagreed with Allaahs ruling. I cannot stress that enough- a mans mind is what matters. 5. If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. Will Allah still be angry with me if I stop having any feeling for him? God only made Adam and Eve, not Eve and Elizabeth. It is also worth mentioning that the bride has the right before marriage to demand her fiance to agree in advance to certain conditions of hers, in case he is interested in pursuing another marriage later on. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the best of righteous women, the wives of the Companions, and even in the Mothers of the Believers. Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. patient and the doers of good. Beat her. Why have muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in their married life by polygamy? In Islam, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families. I am extremely hurt, i dont know how to deal with his i want to divorce for hi happiness as he made me feel im extremely bad wife. But for the sake of all our good, call it truce and take care of each other, and dont resort to these extreme rights. For instance, if the second marriage is likely to upset the first marriage and the family structure already established, then a second marriage should be avoided, as it undermines the very purpose of the Islamic rules of marriage. Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband. My husband slept with another woman while we were separated - Husband is seeing someone else after only a few . ruling can be based. I am a converted Muslim(Hindu to Muslim) bt I learned Urdu. It is his conduct with his wives and living a life according to Islam that will determine where he ( and all muslims) will end up. BarakAllahu feekum. Life is no life without peace. An outrage. Please keep the following hadith in mind: (3) Dispute over marriage between the lady and her husband. stabbing him in the back by tearing apart his family, so that his home and In general, being single and dreaming you are married is a good sign, but . How could ones condition change so drastically? So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. Hi,I came across this when googling about Islamic views on male fantasies.I have been married for the last 8 years and realised my husband not only think about other women (which you seem to agree that most men do,well most straight men at least) but what is recommended that I do should I realise that not only does my husband think about other women,he thinks about having sex with them as well.I find it truly disturbing and upsetting not to mention disrespectful but he seemed to be forcing me to accept this is what it really is.I am truly lost.Please advise. I let the whole world, my familly, anythung for his sake and I love him so much but sometimes he is totally different, cold, and acting bad because of little things. May Allah bless us with good husbands. Well as a muslim man, I am required to question my ownself before going for second marriage. Its the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. Indeed and agree with your comment Abu Ubaydah in shaa ALLAH . The Law of Allah(swt) is complete in every aspect. Jazakallahukairan, am really insppired by this post. A man has to financially emotionally physically and mentally take care of 2 households. By practising islam most of the problems would be solved.
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