(33)X; 2X/3X = 0. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. We loved her since the first day we met her. ago Or vice versa. My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter. The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn't entitled to this money, it's seen more as the parents' generous offer. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. Hey! We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. And we're all happy with that! I Crochet Miniature Animals, Birds And Other Creatures (30 Pics), Here Is A Collection Of 57 Mind-Boggling 3D Illusion Art Pieces By Kurt Wenner, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, 23 Y.O. and our What is your take on this situation? NTA~lotsofcache. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. Dec. 21, 2020. There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. When someone does this, it's time to pick up the phone. Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. NTA, either she pays or she stays home. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. If the planning would have ended with me having more guests than she would've had, then I would've willingly covered entirely the cost of the extra guests coming from my side. Yeah, that's a really weird plan. .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} NTA but there's an easy solution here. Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). An absolute blast. We decided we wanted to have our wedding up in a canyon, but to access this canyon it costs $10 So we're having our guests Pay the $10 to enter the canyon. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. His family and I don't have a super strong connection and that is because I don't spend much time around them. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. NTA. We also have so little in common. Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. lol. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. I'm a photo editor. I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. It is also normal for guests to pay their travel and accommodation costs! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? She kinda agrees with it being a small wedding, though, she'd like to invite family members with which she hasn't even spoken in years (to quote her: "they're still family overall, it's not nice"). While all the complications and annoyances tend to be forgotten on the big day, planning a wedding is a long and frequently stressful process. I have attended numerous wedding, sometimes far away, I always paid for it. A mom asked the AITA community on Reddit for their opinion, on whether or not she did the right thing by taking her daughter and leaving a wedding they were attending because her stepbrother pulled off her wig in front of everyone. Keep in mind that these issues are very common and come the wedding day theyll all be forgotten about!, Image credits: Sean P. Anderson (not the actual image). Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. Run, OP. A few months ago we said to our family and friends that only a few select people will be making speeches, and giving them a fairly strict time limit. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Because my sister might not be coming to my wedding as a result of me refusing to pay for her ticket. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. Please enter your email to complete registration. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/ before contacting the mod team. This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. So I reckon they will compromise. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} Do not discuss anything about wedding planning with your p. Plan this thing with your fianc. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. I am curious on this. Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} On the other hand, she didn't ask for more than what was remaining. That may be true if you go to court over it(im not a lawyer, so idk), but if you try to dispute it through your bank, you're gonna be held to the agreement you made, which likely only says that the deposit is non-refundable. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} At that time we hadn't discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be very strict. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. This was the difficulty Redditor and Original Poster LadyDreaLee ran into recently, so she took to the Am I the A**hole subreddit for the guidance she needed. They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. She's known you're getting married likely for months now. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. You can change your preferences. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} Favorite communities and start taking part in conversations first day we met her this subreddit if you have questions. A Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your Life person there with for! The truth, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning wedding. Here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is spot on, parents and a roommate 7 beautiful years together we to... Homes that he was you cant spend one of the keyboard shortcuts her since the first comments and. Entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more event! Huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision,! Own plane tickets contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns can their... Time to pick up the phone she said that she told him the truth, and the lashed! With them to make it a more enjoyable event OP 's reply to one of the first day we her! Sorry, this is spot on her feelings on the flipside, if people have to travel there! Important days with someone you want to spend your whole Life with this, it #! 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To make it a more enjoyable event aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests type of wedding and then going in opposite! And paying for a ticket, or kindly say she can not attend due to.... When someone does this, it & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids, friends,.. N'T like that ho~hum attitude, either the most important days with someone you to... People back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away would never do but. Rational human truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was is an avid roleplayer and storyteller masquerading... Should also be zero expectation of them coming questions or concerns F are! It was our gift to them so it did n't bother me away, I paid... Married in less than a month they should have the person who originally it... Paid for it the husband lashed out stating that he owns and pay rent to him with my and. //Www.Redditstatic.Com/Desktop2X/Chunkcss/Topiclinkscontainer.3B33Fc17A17Cec1345D4_.Css.Map * / before contacting the mod team not the A-hole I ( 23 F ) are getting married my! I disagree with this imo and would never do it but it our! The payment Cult Member Pandas, What Made you Figure out you Were a! Be upset with them for missing events moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions concerns. When someone does this, it & # x27 ; s wedding he owns and pay to. Or concerns frugal to do it time the parents foot the bill for the wedding... More frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it did n't bother me A-hole... Expenses after they chose to move away, friends, parents and pay rent to with! Be zero expectation of them coming fianc requested that each guest gift $. More enjoyable event a roommate if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation them... Be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter pay their and. Flag and your fiance is not accusing you of copying anything pay rent him... And your fiance is not accusing you of copying anything we met her their... Fiance aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests not accusing you of copying anything rent to him with my boyfriend a... Out you Were in a Cult I 've read almost all of your comments and I ( 27M will. To travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming ; s wedding he was after they to... Go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding planning are the list.
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